| Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote about the
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| | myself saying, "Lord, why did you have to
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| five stages of catastrophic loss in her
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| | take him? Here is a man who contributed
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| book," On Death and Dying". While she was
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| | so much to life, to other people, to me.
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| speaking to the terminally ill patient,
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| | How could you do this to me, Lord?
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| most people have found that the stages
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| | BARGAINING, Now here comes the
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| she defines work as well for almost any
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| | bargaining. I've got a good idea, Lord.
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| kind of grief.
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| | Why don't you take some of the terrorists
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| While people argue as to whether these
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| | and leave my friend? How about Bin Laden
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| stages are really true for a person in
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| | or al Zakowi for starters? I can give
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| grief, and while the whole issue of loss
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| | them up real easily. How about taking
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| is quite complex, for myself I have found
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| | someone older? I can think of few I could
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| that I have indeed gone through the
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| | offer who really are no longer on their
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| stages of grief and often more than once
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| | mental game. My friend's time was so
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| for the same loss. In some cases I don't
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| | short here on earth, and he's sharp as a
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| know that I have ever come to a complete
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| | tack. What will his precious wife do
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| reconciliation of the loss. I don't mean
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| | without him? Take someone who doesn't
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| that I have carried grief to the extent I
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| | have a spouse or much family. It doesn't
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| could be described as clinically
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| | seem fair, Lord. Then you realize life
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| depressed or mentally ill, but definitely
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| | and especially death aren't fair. Many
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| I still miss the person, place or thing
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| | die untimely deaths, and many great
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| with an intense sense of loss.
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| | people die young or relatively young, and
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| I have found it helpful to look at the
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| | many cads and neer do wells live to be
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| five stages with every kind of loss to
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| | old. Does it help to realize this about
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| understand how I am dealing with the
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| | loss, deprivation and death? Sometimes I
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| misfortune. There are so many types of
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| | struggle with the mysteries of loss here,
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| loss as we deal with grief in the
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| | but now we do see through a glass darkly.
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| devotional. Everyday events such as
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| | DEPRESSION, Ok, nothing works here. I'm
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| moving, weddings, change in jobs, loss of
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| | powerless. I'll never see him again. I
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| a pet, graduations, broken dreams, broken
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| | think I'll watch TV 24 hours a day. Life
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| homes, bankruptcy, loss of youth
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| | can be too painful. It may never get
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| divorce...all cause grief. Tragedies like
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| | better. I always throw in a bit of, "How
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| critical illness, accident, natural
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| | can you do this to me, Lord?" Notice here
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| disasters, handicaps and acts of
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| | I have given very little thought to what
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| terrorism expose us to overwhelming
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| | his wife, my dearest friend, is going
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| grief. The process of grieving has many
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| | through. Ah, she's doing ok. She has
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| faces.
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| | wonderful kids to comfort her. My
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| Recently, one of our married male friends
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| | husband and I just have each other here.
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| died. My husband and I were very close
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| | I know there's something wrong and
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| to them as a couple. We traveled with
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| | depressing with my logic, but I'm
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| them, always spent New Year's Eve going
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| | grieving.
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| to a dinner theater. We enjoyed many
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| | ACCEPTANCE, One day I talked with my
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| activities together. They were our best
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| | husband and realized we both were
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| friends. I went to see him at home where
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| | thinking of our friend, the wife, as dead
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| hospice was taking care of him. He was
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| | too. My husband said, "You know we can
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| very sick, thin and pale. I think the
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| | still ask Barb to come with us. Maybe she
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| stages of grief began for me then.
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| | won't or can't yet, but there's no reason
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| DENIAL, As a Christian, although I didn't
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| | why we shouldn't ask." It went through my
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| say it in the latter days, I was still
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| | mind, "Phil is gone. He's really gone.
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| hoping and praying that he would be
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| | But we have to go on without him, still
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| healed. I do believe in healing, but I
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| | try to enjoy life and celebrate, just as
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| also know that, for each of us, there is
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| | he did." Then I remembered how much he
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| an appointed hour to die. It was indeed
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| | really loved life and enjoyed almost
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| selfish. We so enjoyed ourselves with
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| | every minute. What an inspiration! It
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| them, I simply couldn't imagine life
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| | made me realize too that it is alright to
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| without him. I could not admit to myself
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| | remember, especially when you have so
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| that this was his appointed hour. At the
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| | many good times to remember; it is
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| last, when I saw him a few days before
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| | alright to toast to the good times; it is
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| his death I could see he was terminally
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| | alright to know that he was at peace with
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| ill. It was a rude awakening. It was like
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| | his death and his God; it is alright to
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| being hit with a tree limb. Oh, ok, he is
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| | accept that some part of every good
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| not going to be healed. In some ways
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| | friend remains in me as a Godly gift and
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| denial had been a protection, a hope,
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| | attribute; and finally, it is alright to
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| vain as it turned out, but a hope that
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| | miss him, sometimes very much because,
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| everything would be alright.
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| | you know what, his death is a very great
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| ANGER, I used to argue about this stage
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| | loss. But how much better his very much
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| of grief. But there is always some anger
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| | grieved death, than that he should leave
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| when you lose someone you love. I found
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| | this earth and no one give a darn.
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