Relationships - How Poor Communication and Violence Co-Exist Throughout Your Life

It has only been in the last few years that we haveFor instance, when you have your own business you
begun to understand how poor communication canneed to build good relationships with potential
lead to abuse outside of the home. When our parentscustomers. If you don't have good communication skills
constantly tell us that we are less than perfect oror know how to express your appreciation to
come us to someone else, even though they may notsomeone else, then you will not succeed in business.
be realizing itt they are giving you an inferiorityThis is important because even when you work for
complex. As a child when you feel you don't measuresomeone, you want to hold the job long term; but if
up to someone else, especially when you grow up in ayou do know how to know how me and Kate in the
home where there is a lot of physical abuse, you learnworkplace with your superiors or your subordinates,
that by abusing someone else it gives you power overthen there will only be hostility in the workplace. That is
them. The problem is that this is inappropriate behaviorwhy in recent years, you'll have heard stories about
in public.someone who came back to the workplace after he
Think about this and this scenario: your father goes towas fired, to kill his coworkers or create chaos among
work and his boss verbally abuses him for not doing ahis past coworkers.
good job-- he cannot speak for himself because he isTelevision has also attributed to this violent behavior
afraid he may lose his job; then when he gets homebecause they often do not depict reality in shows. You
he has a fight with his spouse or children and thenmay wetness on the screen someone being been one
takes out his anger towards his boss on his wife andmoment and then see them the next moment with no
children. This is often what happened in the lastbruises. Therefore, you may not recognize that your
century in the workplace. During that era, abuse wasbehavior has consequences. Then when you see
often looked at as a discipline, therefore, it was onlywhat your violent behavior can cause, that is the
after it became an epidemic boat in the home and indamage done to the individual-- both physically and
the workplace, that society began to address theseemotionally, it may be a real shock to you. In some
issues.soap operas where they use storylines about abuse,
We need to learn how to communicate approval ofthey will often have public service announcements
someone's behavior, as well as, disapproval of theirafter the show with the actor, letting you know where
behavior. We do this by letting them know that we doto turn to to get assistance if you are the victim and
not like their actions in that situation at that particulareven if you are the perpetrator.
time. But you also need to let them know that you likedGood communication means learning how to express
them as a person because this helps give them selfour feelings about how we are treated and learning
esteem. When you only hear someone being limplythe right way to respond to someone in any given
constantly, then you learn to think of yourself as beingsituation. We also need to learn how to diffuse our
inferior in some way. Unless you learn to recognizeanger, so we don't take it out on the wrong person.
why you feel the way you do and change yourJust look at this the mistakes of criminals they grew up
behavior, you will only repeat the same inappropriatein homes where they were abused as children and
behavior in the relationship you have with your spouselater committed crimes against someone else to give
and children. History always repeats itself.them power because they felt inferior. This is why
We need to learn how to recognize what is goodgroup therapy is important when you need to relearn
behavior and what is bad behavior. As children ourhow to pat yourself on the back and learn to build your
parents can tell us what is good and bad behavior, butown self-esteem. Often it takes a therapist to help us
as adults we need to learn to recognize the differencerecognize these inappropriate behaviors and learn how
so we can exhibit good behavior. This is especiallyto change our behavior for the better.
important if we want to succeed in the business world.