| The great cellist Pablo Casals was once asked by the | | | | When you find yourself more focused on hiding your |
| sound engineer during a recording session to redo a | | | | blemishes than enjoying your life, you might keep these |
| section where the intonation had been a little off. | | | | points in mind: |
| Indignant, Casals replied: "But that's the way I played it!" | | | | - KEEP IT REAL. For many of us, perfection equates |
| As someone who hears the constant voice of | | | | with receiving approval and being liked (or at least not |
| self-criticism, I was struck with admiration for Casal's | | | | annoying anyone): "If I'm perfect, everyone will love |
| integrity. How many of us have such loyalty to | | | | me." But while people may be fascinated by the |
| "imperfect" reality that we would refuse the | | | | promise of perfection, they won't necessarily be |
| opportunity for a do-over? Most of us are much more | | | | comfortable in its proximity. As humans, we stumble |
| focused on achieving perfection -- a life free from | | | | and fall, blurt out inappropriate comments. It's what |
| flaws and mistakes. | | | | makes us authentic and not automatons. And when |
| A Questionable Quest | | | | we see that others -- even the kickboxing instructor at |
| Performing artists and athletes spend hours practicing | | | | your gym with the "perfect" body -- do the same, we |
| their craft or sport, striving to ensure a "perfect" | | | | feel a greater connection with them than we would if |
| performance. In the workplace, we're intent on | | | | they never screwed up. |
| presenting an unimpeachable front to colleagues and | | | | - APPRECIATE YOUR MISTAKES. Traveling the path |
| superiors, and legions of brides spend outrageous | | | | toward perceived perfection means experiencing |
| sums to create the ideal wedding day. | | | | glaring imperfection. But paradoxically, it is our fear of |
| But what is perfection exactly -- and how do we | | | | appearing foolish that impedes us. Why not emulate |
| know when we've achieved it? Is it possible that the | | | | young children, who learn without inhibition or self-doubt |
| eternal pursuit of perfection could actually spell eternal | | | | because they're more caught up in the joy of |
| dissatisfaction? What can't we simply have Casal's | | | | self-expression and learning new skills than they are in |
| attitude of appreciation for "the way we played it"? | | | | the fear of making a mistake. After all, mistakes serve |
| Perhaps you've been to a dance performance where | | | | to help us appreciate expert execution all the more. |
| one of the dancers had faultless technique and yet it | | | | - IS IT PERFECT YET? Regardless of how far we've |
| was the one with less orthodox form whose | | | | come, we maintain our insistence that, "No, if only it |
| uninhibited energy and passion captured your attention. | | | | were like this, then it would be perfect." Where did we |
| Even in fashion magazines where airbrushed | | | | get our notions of perfection anyway ' is it possible |
| perfection reigns, some of the most successful models | | | | that we've been conditioned by society and media into |
| have been the ones with prominent "flaws" -- Cindy | | | | a false belief that there is universal agreement when, in |
| Crawford's mole, Lauren Hutton's gap-toothed smile. | | | | fact, there's no definitive consensus on what that is? Is |
| Makes you wonder whether absolute perfection isn't | | | | the "perfect" dinner party the one with the exquisite |
| actually a little boring. | | | | flower arrangements, carefully matched settings and |
| A Moving Target | | | | elaborate desserts, or the one with nonstop laughter? |
| Of course, this isn't to say that we shouldn't seek to | | | | So when you're beating yourself up because things |
| improve and achieve our best. But in this age of | | | | are not going the way you think they should, who's to |
| computer and surgical wizardry, the standards of | | | | say you can't pronounce things perfect just as they |
| perfection are constantly changing, heightening our fear | | | | are ' no matter how frustrating, embarrassing or out of |
| of making mistakes or appearing less than perfect. | | | | tune -- because "that's the way you played it"? |