How To Cope With Bereavement

If you are past your teens you probably suffered thesooner you do the easier and less painful will be your
loss of someone you care for. After all death is asjourney back to normality.
common as birth but somehow we do not view it asAfter all grieving over loss is an natural process and if
part of the natural process of life. Our culture does notfaced and integrated properly can enhance your
support grieving. Many of us are afraid of death, wefuture rather then diminishing it. ANy kind of trauma has
don't understand it and therefore suppress anya lesson hidden beneath it. When you see this and
emotions as best as we can. Unfortunately this copingintegrate the lesson, whatever it may be for you, you
mechanism, one that is encouraged by our societywill get over your loss so much faster.
also, has got many a hidden danger. The danger is thatAny kind of loss needs integrating
suppressed emotions around bereavement can wellBereavement, grief, loss of course goes way beyond
truly ruin your life and you may not even know it.losing someone we care for. In fact, divorce, the loss
When faced with the prospect of someone dear to usof health or money are all in the same category and
dying we invariably are pushed to our limits and quiteneed to be coped with and integrated when they
often beyond. As if coping with life's changedoccur.
circumstances wasn't enough we also are pushed toI repeat: failure to do so can seriously affect the quality
the limits of our understanding of what it is all about.of your life. "Getting on with life" is the catch phrase of
Losing someone suddenly, or when we are veryour society. Too many of us live by this adage and are
young highlights these existentialist fears. Moderntrue masters of suppression and self delusion.
society has not got the support system extendedThis is all well and good but I know from my own
families used to provide in the past. In our busy livesexperience and experience with many clients that
we do not take the time out to connect properly withunless you face the bereavement and fully integrate it,
each other, let alone give each other the luxury ofyou will suffer unnecessarily. Parts of your life will not
compassion through listening caring and understandingwork and sometimes 20 or 30 years later you may
when someone goes through the trauma of loss.realise why, often you may never know where the
This is a great shame and explains why properreal reason for your problems originated. .That is a
counselling is so important for anyone who hastragic waste indeed.
suffered a loss.Seeking refuge in religions or cultsOf course this need not be so. With energy therapy
unfortunately is not a sound idea. Whilst it might giveand cognitive therapy you can work gently at
you temporary support, it is also a surefire way ofresolving, integrating and healing the trauma of any kind
giving away your personal power or freedom. In factof loss. Fortunately there are many techniques
looking for support in that way can be downrightavailable today and you can take your pick.
dangerous and lead you when you are already out ofIf you are lucky enough to realise that you may need
balanced into a place of delusion and estranging youhelp getting over the death of someone you care for
from yourself as well as the real world.or your divorce, or whatever else it may be, take
Another coping mechanism often sought is drugs,steps now to help you recover your equilibrium faster
alcohol, tranquillisers or antidepressants. It is easy toand get your life back on track. Whatever your belief
become dependant On these and apart from thesystem, one thing is for sure, you have only one shot
obvious dangers to your physical health, extended useat this particular life and you may as well be kind to
of drugs can seriously ruin a life. It stands to reason toyourself and get the tools to navigate it as skilfully as
seek help sooner rather then later. Because theyou can.