| Somehow you believed that everything was going well | | | | The good news is that there is another way to get to |
| between you and your loved one. Sure, things could | | | | Path A. You do not have to beat yourself to death |
| have been better but the relationship was okay. Other | | | | fighting your way back along Path A to the fork in the |
| things distracted you and you took her or him for | | | | road and then struggle to catch up to where you |
| granted. Work, friends, hobbies, sports, a fancy car or | | | | should be on Path B. First of all, you do not have the |
| truck, a big screen TV, the most stylish clothes, and | | | | time. Your loved one has decided it is all over. They will |
| any of a dozen other things seemed important. That is, | | | | move on. Second, it is just too discouraging to think |
| until he or she left. When they walked out the door--or | | | | you have to work your way back to the fork and |
| threw you out--all those "important" things no longer | | | | along the new path to the present. You will most likely |
| mattered. | | | | give up long before you make it to where you should |
| Now, like a barrel of cold water dumped on your head, | | | | have been by now. |
| you realize you were in a state of denial about how | | | | You cannot go back; you can only go forward. That is |
| bad things really were. The love of your life was | | | | life. You messed up? You can't undo it. Instead, choose |
| suffering greatly and you didn't get it. There were | | | | to be courageous and take a bold shortcut. |
| warning signals, you realize now, but you blew them | | | | A Difficult and Courageous Shortcut |
| off as his or her insecurities, as petty things that were | | | | What I want you to do is to consider taking a shortcut |
| not important. | | | | from where you are on Path A--the popular and |
| But now you get it. You now realize you have been | | | | common road to relationship failure--directly to where |
| rushing headlong down a path that lead to where you | | | | you should be with your loved one on Path B. Decide |
| are now and you're about to lose the most important | | | | to cut and slash your way through the undergrowth, |
| person in your life. Is it too late? Can you get off this | | | | across the wilderness between the two path, to your |
| destructive path that has so hurt the one you love and | | | | where your ex is on Path B. |
| get on the right path? I've got good news. | | | | The shortcut is difficult because it goes against the |
| A Fork in the Road | | | | natural human tendency to feel sorry for ourselves |
| At some point in the past, there was a fork in the road | | | | when tragedy strikes, even if we caused it ourselves. |
| and you did not see it coming. You blissfully went one | | | | There is some self-destructive pull to wallow in our |
| way when you should have taken the other path. | | | | grief and self-pity. For some reason, the self-pity feels |
| Maybe your past set you up for it. Maybe a poor | | | | good and is attractive to our emotions (as proven by |
| example of your own parents' marriage lead you to | | | | the daily followers of soap operas on TV). It requires |
| believe Path A was the normal or maybe the only | | | | some emotional courage to ignore that pull toward |
| option. Hey, if you only saw one choice you could not | | | | self-pity and to start hacking across the rough terrain |
| have recognized that a fork in the road had opened | | | | toward that point on Path B where we would have |
| up another path. Maybe you have watched your | | | | been if we hadn't missed the fork in the road. |
| friends consistently rush down Path A without | | | | The shortcut is also difficult because it requires that |
| hesitation. So you thought that's the way you do this | | | | you completely embrace a new way of thinking and |
| courtship or marriage thing. Now, you know that Path | | | | behaving. Not very many people can change to this |
| A ends in a drop off of loneliness and regret. | | | | degree. But all it takes is one powerful idea--what is |
| If only you could go back to the fork in the road and | | | | often called a revelation--to so change you that you |
| choose Path B, you think. But that's not the best way | | | | can go directly across the intervening barrier and |
| to get your ex back. | | | | quickly make it to where you should be on Path B. |
| Do Not Retrace Your Steps | | | | The Power of a Life-Changing Idea |
| To return to the fork in the road feels right and fits | | | | One revelation that shakes you to the heels of your |
| emotionally with the strong sense of regret you now | | | | shoes and opens your eyes to see reality can change |
| have. It is a way of punishing yourself. You will trudge | | | | you forever. You're already part way. You see that |
| back through the wrong words and behaviors of the | | | | you have contributed to your ex leaving by ignoring the |
| past on Path A until you come to that one place when | | | | fork in the road and running headlong down the wrong |
| you could have chosen another way of relating and | | | | path, all the while ignoring every warning he or she |
| loving. Then, you will start all over on Path B and race | | | | gave you. You are in the perfect position for having a |
| to catch up. | | | | life-changing idea or ideas that will allow you to cut |
| I'm here to tell you that will not work. It seems right. It | | | | across to Path B. You can do it! |
| feels right. But it will not work. | | | | |