| If you have recently undergone a divorce, you might | | | | novel. |
| be shocked when you are confiding your sense of | | | | 5. Surround Yourself with Positivism |
| loss to a friend, who then turns to you, and simpers, | | | | Do what you can to try to ensure that your |
| "Just get over it". | | | | environment emits positivism. This may mean switching |
| Quite frankly, it's unrealistic for any person who has | | | | from the blues on your radio to a cheery Hawaiian |
| undergone a trauma to simply "get over it". Yet many | | | | radio channel or buying a brand-new calendar with |
| people do expect that after the divorce is final, the | | | | pictures of sunflower and inspirational phrases |
| divorcee should simply rebound into the social sphere, | | | | contained in every month. Keep positive images in your |
| perky and poised. Reality check! It will take time to heal. | | | | line of vision. |
| Having said this, there are things you can do, to help | | | | 6. Connect with Others Who Can Relate |
| yourself move forward. | | | | Connect with women and men as well, who can relate |
| 1. Be Gentle with Yourself | | | | to your experience and share in the new experiences |
| Be aware that in your journey forward, there will be | | | | that you will face. For example, if you are shy about |
| some steps backwards along the way. When a | | | | re-entering the dating scene, you will need a |
| setback happens, for example, you become emotional | | | | "partner-in-crime". If you don't know any persons that |
| at a family reunion, accept your feelings as legitimate | | | | are in the same situation as yourself, make new |
| and in fact, a necessary part of the healing process. | | | | friends by joining a local divorce support group. |
| 2. Express your Appreciation | | | | 7. Take Care of Yourself |
| Before you go to sleep each night, express your | | | | If you have children, you are probably focused on |
| appreciation for all that you have. You may possess a | | | | taking care of your children, however, don't neglect |
| lot of anger and sorrow. However, by concentrating | | | | yourself. This means eating healthfully, getting sufficient |
| your thoughts on your blessings, you can adopt, at | | | | sleep and proper exercise. Even on those days when |
| least temporarily, a positive frame of reference. | | | | you feel down, make sure your hair is nicely styled and |
| 3. Don't Rush the Natural Order of Things | | | | you put a smile on your face. Throw your shoulders |
| If you feel ready to re-enter the social scene | | | | back. You should be proud of yourself for being the |
| immediately after your divorce is final, and you know | | | | beautiful, strong and capable woman that you truly are. |
| what you are seeking in a dating partner, | | | | 8. Live Well |
| congratulations! If you don't feel ready 6 months | | | | It is commonly said that the best revenge is "living well". |
| subsequent to the finalization of your divorce, that's | | | | Show your ex that you can live a good life without him, |
| okay, as well. However, if a year elapses and you are | | | | and live well! Determine what makes you happy and... |
| still reluctant to try dating, you may need a gentle | | | | do it! For example, after my own divorce, I attended |
| nudge from a trusted friend. | | | | Phantom of the Opera with a friend. It was so uplifting, |
| 4. Challenge Yourself with a Completely New Creative | | | | and I was in disbelief that I had not attended a musical |
| Outlet | | | | for over a decade. I promised myself to attend a |
| You might think that you have no creative skills, for | | | | musical on a regular basis thereafter. |
| example, you can't draw or paint. Try a pottery class, | | | | Above all else, concentrate on tomorrow rather than |
| or belly dancing. There are many venues for the | | | | yesterday and continue moving forward to a future |
| expression of creativity, try something completely | | | | with abundance and happiness. |