Getting Opera: Some Perfectly Scandalous Developments

Even though by historical standards opera is a verywill be forced to take in day and night, FOREVER, a
young art genre (as opposed to, say, theatre orrepertoire consisting exclusively of operas that include
painting), the amount of nonsense that has been said,countertenors and/or High F's.
written, and published about it over the past two(Let me explain. I'm not merely an artist, critic, or
centuries truly defies imagination. At least eightconnoisseur; I'm an epicurean as well. I have an
different conflicting OFFICIAL opinions exist on any andEXTREMELY LOW BOREDOM THRESHOLD.
all of its aspects; whenever an expert opens his or herSeriously, I do. I absolutely HATE being bored. I cannot
mouth to utter a comment, ten others jump at thestand it. Boredom to me is unbelievable spiritual and
commentator's throat ... No. Not really. As it is withmental torture. There is exactly ONE composer of
pretty much everything today, opera commentary hasnote who employs ONE countertenor part in ONE of
become politically correct, i.e. vague and uncertain, lesthis operas, and the opera is not a very good one,
someone should take offence; so much so that it iseither. There is exactly ONE opera by a notable
taken as a matter of course that folks who askcomposer that features a High F, and that opera is
straight questions are amateurs while those whoBORING. I go to the opera to be moved and
provide straight, to the point answers are ignoramuses.entertained; I purchase recordings that I know will
Straight answers are an endangered species facingmove and entertain me. You couldn't pay me enough
extinction.to endure three acts of BORING music, no matter
This would be comical if it weren't so detrimental tohow many important and reputable folks have praised
opera.it and built their careers around it. My taste, my ear, my
Constantly complaining about the "lack of new blood,"perception are, to the best of my knowledge, pretty
opera's powers-that-be and their voluntary assistantsstandard; from which I conclude that since, after taking
with music school diplomas and insecurity complexesin two thousand live operatic performances of all kinds,
make every effort to confuse, rather than enlighten,I still find Bellini's operas tedious (and Debussy's, and
the newcomer.Berlioz's, and Berg's, too), so will thousands of others
At one of our recent live seminars, as Ricardo waspotential opera buffs. To expose a novice to a tedious
busy elucidating types of operatic voices for an eagerpiece FIRST is to turn him or her away from opera
audience consisting mostly of novices, a man with aforever. My rhetorical question to every operatic
pot belly raised an objection, proclaiming in screechyPharisee out there goes like this. I have turned
tones that the tenor was NOT the highest male voicecountless folks into die-hard opera buffs. What have
in opera. Ricardo countered by saying that FOR ALLyou done?)
INTENTS the tenor IS the highest male voice ... "AndOpera as we know it is not rocket science. There is
the High C," interrupted the "erudite," continuing to flauntso little one has to know beforehand to enjoy a
his pseudo-knowledge, "is NOT the highest note in theGOOD opera fully that it all fits into the three-hour
tenor range. There are parts in operas from theformat of Ricardo's "Getting Opera" Course, with time
Seventeenth Century to the present that include theto spare (our live seminars feature
High F! You're ignorant! You don't now what you'requestions-and-answers sessions and a fifteen-minute
talking about!"coffee-and-cigarette break). Neither of us is affiliated
He continued to "demonstrate" with increasingwith the opera industry, or music industry, in any way.
frequency how knowledgeable and superior he wasRicardo's opinions are entirely objective, his expertise
until finally I had to escort him out. Our live seminars aretrue, his approach honest and very effective.
pretty expensive ($60 per person, locally; $200 perWhat "Getting Opera" does is sweep away the layers
person when we go on tour); folks flock to us to findof nonsense accumulated over the past two centuries:
out how they can enjoy opera, and we absolutelythe nonsense that is put into textbooks and guides, the
have to give them their money's worth. If you thinknonsense that is taught in music schools and
your knowledge and expertise are valuable andproclaimed fatuously from the lectern; and leaves in
sellable, by all means, set up your own seminar.just what used to enable an ordinary clerk or factory
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that theworker in a fifth ring seat (in New York, in New
knowledge that certain tenor parts do in fact includeOrleans, in Milan, in Vienna, in opera's heyday) to
that silly-sounding High F, and that the countertenorappreciate every note and every shade of harmony
does in fact sing higher than the ordinary tenor, is theof the beloved operatic masterpieces.
ultimate reward to those who insist on pointing suchThe entire history of opera is presented as if it were
things out whenever an opportunity presents itself.an adventure story, with subplots, intrigue, love affairs,
Such people don't really enjoy, nor even care about,gunfire, and callous meddling politicians getting in the
opera. They have no respect (never mind love) forway. The three major opera periods, which include the
their fellow human beings, either. Just as the biblicalsixteen great operas written by five composers are
Pharisees took all joy out of religion (and annoyedcovered in full. The differences between the styles are
Jesus and his apostles every chance they got),thoroughly (and humorously) explained and easily
operatic Pharisees today take all joy out of opera,grasped. The best recordings are used to illustrate
distracting and annoying those who for one reason oreach point, and before you know it, you find yourself
another wish to wrench it from the stifling control offamiliar with several opera plots (libretti). Some
elitist bureaucracy and restore it to its proper owner:terminology sinks in as if by magic, so much so that
the audience. If there is a special place in hell for thethe listener will be able to hold his or her own in a
operatic Pharisee, I hope it features a large auditoriumconversation about opera - with anyone.
with good acoustics, in which the unrepentant pedant