Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles

One of the nice things about being an author is that				speaking. (I
we can break				never use "whom" in speaking or writing because I
any rule we want. (I just did.) It's part of our job				want to see
description.				the distinction scrapped, but that's another story.)The
Language changes through usage -- definitions,				dialogue portion of VIGILANTE JUSTICE isn't difficult to
spelling, grammar				describe. The hero is a self-destructive cop named
-- and authors can help it do this. But on the other				Gary Drake. He
hand, we				is based on a real-life cop, my little brother. So his
have to have some sort of agreement on the				dialogue
language or we won't				was easy because, in my mind, I always heard Gary
be able to talk to each other.When we as authors				speaking in
break a rule or two, it's not because we're				Barry's voice.For my other characters, I had to find
ignorant. It's because we have reasons to break them.				some other voices. For
That's one				example, the voice of Doctor Garrett Allison is, to me,
of the joys of writing.Having said that, now I'm going to				that of
explain some rules. There are				Michael Jordan.That's right, people. When I write, I
two types of writing in your novel. There is your				literally hear voices in my
narrative and				head.As a beginning writer, and not a very good one, I
there is your dialogue. The rules for the two are not				read some advice
the same.For example, comma use. In dialogue, it's not				somewhere saying you might want to cut photos out
so difficult. Put				of magazines and
in a comma wherever your speaker pauses in his/her				use them when writing your physical description, in
speaking. In				case you can't
narrative, you have to consult the style guides and				form a mental picture of your characters. I've used
hope that you				this technique,
and your editor, working as a team, can sort it all				and with some modification I've extended it to
out.NARRATIVEA cop thriller like my VIGILANTE				voices.As an author, you should always play to your
JUSTICE has a simple set of				greatest strengths
rules for the narrative portion. Third-person,				while working to improve your weaknesses. I know
straightforward				many authors who
writing, light on adjectives and adverbs, easy to read				think visually, and I envy them that. I've read some
and				stuff that
grammatically correct. Sentence fragments are				can make you feel you're skiing down a
acceptable if				snow-covered mountain when
communication is achieved, and you'll note that I use				it's actually 85 degrees in your flat and you've never
them often				skied in
in this article. Why? Simply because it's more				your life.One author told me that when he writes, he
effective that				literally sees movies
way.To a degree the genre will help you identify				in his head, then just has to type them really fast
what's appropriate.				because
For a cop drama, write in the dry style of a journalist.				that's how they're playing. Lucky him! My novels first
For				come to me
horror, a bit of hyperbole may be acceptable in the				in snippets of dialogue. Every character has the same
most dramatic				voice at
sections. For romance (not my genre), you can				that stage. (My voice, of course.)Tight dialogue is one
probably use lots				thing I enjoy when I read. Here are the
more adjectives (swollen, heaving, throbbing, etc.) than				characters at some sort of verbal showdown. I know
you'd				them, I know
normally dare.When I wrote RISING FROM THE				their motives, I can read between the lines and know
ASHES, the true story of Mom raising				what's being
my brother and me alone, I tried to adopt a "childlike				left unsaid. I can just feel the tension in the air. I'm not
voice"				so
early in the narrative. As the character of Michael the				much mentally picturing bulging veins and angry glares
storyteller grew older, I abandoned that childlike quality.				as I am
(An				just feeling the spoken words.I also have an excellent
entire book of that would get old fast anyway.)When I				memory of voices. I always have. Like a
wrote AN AMERICAN REDNECK IN HONG KONG,				dog remembers scents or an artist colors, it seems, I
the humorous				can
sequel, I once again used first person narrative. But				remember voices. If I hear an unfamiliar song on the
the				radio but
narrative of RISING is first person only in that it uses				I've ever heard that singer before, I can tell you who it
"I"				is. I
instead of "Michael." Michael is only a camera. It still				can tell you that the guy doing the voice of Gomez
follows				Addams in the
all the rules of "conventional" narrative. In REDNECK, I				original Addams Family cartoon is now doing one of
threw				the voices in
most of the rules out the window.I used what one				the Tasmanian Devil's cartoon series. I can spot an
author referred to my as "conversational" tone to				actor like
maximum effect in REDNECK. This fellow author felt				Andreas Katsulas no matter what species of
like he wasn't				rubberized alien he's
so much reading my book as just listening to me tell				playing, because I recognize his voice, although really
some stories				that's no
over a few beers. That's exactly what I				great challenge in his case.(For the record, if you've
wanted.When I wrote the sequel to REDNECK,				read THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN,
another bit of humor called				Ahriman looks and sounds like Andreas Katsulas.
WHO MOVED MY RICE?, I chose to keep that same				Clyde Windham is
narrative style,				Dennis Franz. Wendy Himes is some girl who sold me
which I'd spent three years perfecting in my				some horse
newsletter.In RISING, while I was the "first person"				feed about 15 years ago.)But just "hearing" the voices
character, I wasn't				(if you're able) isn't enough. The
really the book's focus. In REDNECK and RICE, I am.				words themselves will be different depending on
Center stage,				who's speaking
in the spotlight. Using more of a "dialogue" style in				them, even if they're relaying the same information.To
what should				get back to VIGILANTE JUSTICE, Gary Drake doesn't
have been "narrative" allowed me to focus the				use a lot of
reader's attention				words. He almost never describes his own feelings,
on the first person to a greater degree than simply				and if he does
describing him				he always feels guilty about it. He speaks with a
ever could. You may love me or you may hate me,				Southern drawl.
but you'll know				He tends to use a single swear word, and that word
me and you'll laugh at me. Or, in the case of RICE,				is "f*ck."Marjorie Brooks, on the other hand, mentions
you'll feel my				feelings and uses
frequent confusion. I had to write that from "my				whichever swear word is the most accurate, except
perspective"				that she never
because it was often the only one I understood.If you				says "f*ck." Doctor Allison doesn't use as many
want to see such a technique used to maximum				contractions as
effect, I				the rest of us do. These are things I kept in mind as I
recommend A MONK SWIMMING by Malachy				wrote
McCourt. (I read it after				their dialogue.Who remembers Mr. Spock? His speech
writing REDNECK, by the way.) It's about an actor				sounds like written language,
who gets drunk				very grammatical and correct, and that's deliberate.
and does very bad things to himself and his family,				He's a
and it's				scientist, he's logical, and for him language is a tool to
amazing just how much I laughed out loud reading it.				be used
Doesn't				with as much precision as possible. That isn't just a
sound like a funny subject, does it? It's not, and yet it				different
is,				style of dialogue; it helps define his character.In THE
thanks to his unconventional narrative style.To tell you				CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN, Ahriman used fewer
the truth, I don't even think McCourt "wrote" that				contractions
book. I think he just said it all into a tape recorder and				than the rest of us and he avoided sentence
transcribed it later. It reads that much like "a guy at the				fragments. He
pub				probably even knew the difference between who
telling a tale." If he used the grammar checking				and whom or lie and
function in				lay. That's because he's intelligent, you see. It kinds of
MSWord, I bet it underlined every sentence. And,				goes
bright fellow				with the territory when one is evil incarnate.During an
that he is, he ignored them all and didn't change a				edit I did of a sci-fi book, I saw that the author wasn't
word.If you're going to use a more conversational tone				using contractions in dialogue. I made many
in your				suggestions that he
narrative, don't think that means you just write				change the dialogue of the humans to use those
something down				contractions,
and don't have to edit it. You still have to organize				except when military officers were giving orders,
your				because
thoughts, and that means rewriting. While your style				order-giving officers tend to be more "serious" and
may be				"thoughtful"
unconventional, you have to make the ideas easy for				than folks just being regular folks.I also suggested to
the reader to				this author that he change nothing about the
follow.(I'm not entirely serious when I say McCourt just				"stilted" speech patterns of his aliens. English isn't their
spoke into a				native language, you see, and one thing I've noticed
tape recorder, and even if he did that doesn't mean				from living
the rest of				in China is that the locals don't use nearly as many
us can get away with it.)In the case of narrative, you				contractions
have the choice. If you want to				as I do. So I thought that added realism. Plus, the
spotlight the storyteller to maximum effect, you can				contrast
go with				should help the readers keep everybody straight even
first person and let the storyteller's narrative and his				if they aren't
dialogue				consciously aware of why.I remember in one edit
read the same. If you'd prefer to "move the camera"				where I read some character saying, "I am
back a bit,				an historian." Oh, I hate that phrase. I hate anyone ever
make the narrative conventional in contrast to the				putting
dialogue. As a				"an" in front of a word that begins with the consonant
rule, this reader likes contrast, because he gets bored				"h." It's
reading				terribly pretentious and arrhythmic. As I kept reading
the same thing over and over again unless the style is				the
really				book, I quickly learned that the character in question is
special. Or perhaps you can find a point somewhere				terribly pretentious. Nobody else in the book was
in between.Every story has a way that it should be				throwing "an"
told for maximum effect.				in front of "h" words. It was a deliberate contrast on
Maximum effect in the author's eyes, of course, as it's				the
a				author's part, and it worked quite nicely.CONCLUSIONI
subjective thing. Keep it in mind as you write. Make				suppose the point of all this is, remember the
the call,				difference
stick to it, change it if it's not working. It might even be				between narrative and dialogue.In the case of
okay				narrative, you're simply trying to describe what
to be inconsistent, but only if you do so deliberately.				happens. There is a famous quote of some sort that
Just keep				says, "Great
stuff like "ease of reading" and "maximum effect" in				writing is like a window pane." Stick to that maxim
mind and be				unless you
creative.DIALOGUEHave you ever read a book				feel you have a good reason not to. If you've got
where the dialogue reads like narrative?				what it takes
I hope you haven't. But as an editor I've seen such				to make your writing style superior to the
things, and				conventional, and if
they're very ugly.Do you know why they're so ugly?				your story allows it, let that style be an asset of your
Because they remind the reader				writing.
of the one thing an author does not want to remind				Otherwise, just stick to the rules until you master
the reader of.				them.In the case of dialogue, you're trying to write
Namely, that every character on the page is a puppet				something that
under the				sounds like what the characters would actually say,
author's control.As readers, we put that thought aside				but a bit
so we can enjoy reading.				more organized because "real" speech can be boring.
"Willing suspension of disbelief," to quote the phrase an				Give every
English				character his/her/its own voice.Am I joking when I say
teacher used when describing the performance of				"its?" Not entirely. THE CHRONICLES OF A
Shakespeare's				MADMAN contains a short story, written in first
plays. If the author ensures that the reader can't				person from my
suspend				dog's viewpoint. But then again, I would never call
disbelief, the book will not be read. Stilted dialogue is				Daisy an
one of				"it."There's a stylistic decision you can make in
the quickest ways to make that happen.I've decided				narrative, by the
that writing dialogue is the hardest thing we do.				way. I always refer to animals as "he" or "she." Some
It's certainly not something we can go look up in a				authors
style manual				always use "it."In dialogue, you can let some
like Strunk or Turabian.What are the rules? "Make it				characters always say he or she,
sound real." But with the corollary,				and let others always say it, to contrast the feeling
"not too real because people always say um and er				with the
and crap like				unfeeling. (My heroes never call an animal "it.")In the
that." Oh yeah. That explains everything! End of my				end, the goal is always the same. Make your writing as
article,				easy to read as you can. Keep that in mind, and
right?Nope. I'm still writing it.Ideally, the greatest of the				always keep
great creators of dialogue will have				learning, and you won't go wrong.Copyright 2005,
every character "speaking" in a voice so distinctive				Michael LaRoccaMichael LaRocca's website at was
that he/she				chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101
need never identify the speaker. Okay, that's enough				Best Websites
fiction.				For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response was to
Back to reality. None of us are writing dialogue that				throw it
well, are				out and start over again because he's insane. He
we?People use a lot more contractions in speech				teaches
than in writing.				English at a university in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province,
They're faster. More sentence fragments, too. People				China, and publishes the free weekly newsletter
very often				WHO MOVED
use the wrong version of lie/lay or who/whom in				MY RICE?

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Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles

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